Animals are funny. Our pets. Others pets. Wild beasts. Cats are funny. Dogs are funny. And animal curiosity is fascinating to watch. Whether you prefer cute, cuddly little kittens. Or friendly big dogs. Or more adventuresome critters like monkeys and alligators.
Funny Animal Stories
Doggy Dictionary. LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread . . .
Top 10 Cat Rules: The cat is not allowed in the house. The cat is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms. The cat is allowed in all rooms, but must stay off the furniture.
Grasp cat firmly in your arms to get started, as you read: how to give a cat a pill. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop the pill in its mouth. Retrieve cat from top of lamp & pill from under sofa. How to give a cat a pill . . .
It's a great picture! Eat Mor Chikin. Despite their presence on websites around the world, our friends, th funny cows, are actually advertising genius from from the Chick-fil-A restaurant group. Eat Mor Chikin . . .
The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of My CaptivityMy captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Can you believe it!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Why are dinosaurs extinct? They all died. They couldn't make rice. They just all couldn't get along. No caffeine. Why again are dinosaurs extinct?
On the first day of creation, God created the cat. On the second day, God created man to serve the cat. On the third day after God created the cat . . .
For example, An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was more than just a tired dog . . .
If a dog was your teacher, you would learn: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. If a dog were your teacher . .
The Dog’s Diary8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Rodger Degagne, a former employee with AECL (Atomic Energy...) in Chalk River, may be embarking on a new career as Feline Breeder. Relaxing in his spacious home on the shores of the Ottawa River, he has a picture of his amazingly big cat . . .
Dear Beloved Pets: The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find . . .
Perhaps it's good cats have 9 lives. You know, when you get a dog wet, you still have a dog. But sometimes you may think you are looking at a alien when see a wet cat or wet kitties . . .